I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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