but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
