my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Boobs are out for the taking
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
