I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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