Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
