Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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