if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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