well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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