when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
