I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My room smells like vodka and shame
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize