covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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