This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Panties = found
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
