I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
