I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
