just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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