are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
