Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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