I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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