I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
