when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
