He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize