Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
