I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
