her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
