**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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