Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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