he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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