Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
