Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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