I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
