I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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