Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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