Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
