im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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