Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
