There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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