just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
