ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
