We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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