Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
