I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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