I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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