it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
