I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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