that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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