My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
