We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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