Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
should my penis look like a turkey
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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