i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
