her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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