Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My vagina is officially offended.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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