i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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