so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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