im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
