Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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