i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
